From the sidelines, my dreams feel big. To dream up an idea and think, “Now wouldn’t that be lovely?” and then continue on my way, dreaming those lovely dreams inside the safety of my comfortable little world.
And if I am honest, I like being a dreamer. I can imagine all the wonderful possibilities and even make some genuine plans without any of the risk, the failure or those terrifying moments when you feel like you’re completely in over your head. If I had it my way, life would go from dreaming and warp speed to completely settled into the dream’s reward and we could just skip all that in between…the fear and the overwhelming work of making dreams happen.
I’m not a mother but have been told by some that as awfully painful as child birth is, their bodies quickly forgot the worst of the unbearable pain at the utter gift that is their child. Sometimes I feel like my life can be a bit like this. I will struggle through change and feel at times like I just want to go back to the way things were because it was easier. And somehow, one day I will wake up and look back at the change, see the rewards all around me and almost laugh at my former silly old self. I think God designed a woman’s body to forget the worst of the pain to insure that we would have a few families on this planet with more than one child and God has wisely given me a bit of amnesia when it comes to remembering how much I hate change so that I will actually step out into my dreams instead of watching from the sideline.
From the sidelines, moving across the country to Tennessee 5 years ago seemed like such a lovely little dream. Today, I look at that dream and thank God that I jumped face first into it. I’m sure that I probably did a belly flop and swallowed some water in the process but looking at my life today, I am so thankful that I did it anyway. And now here we stand, on the edge of another big change. Moving to the country, building a house and turning it into a home, restoring the land, finding out what God wants us to do with it all while continuing to challenge and grow our life’s work. These dreams are the epitome of loveliness to my heart. But they do not come without fear, without overwhelming moments and days when I feel like I’ve gotten in over my head. But I think that’s the point. That the beauty of the dream is in the muddy road that it takes to get there. The dust, the tears, the laughter and the joy are found on this road. And somedays I will walk, somedays I will literally be carried and somedays, I will skip, whistle and smile at all the joy set before me.
“It is well for us that, amidst all the variableness of life, there is One whom change cannot affect;
One whose heart can never alter, and on whose brow mutability can make no furrows.”
Nashville wedding photographer, Kristyn Hogan, documents the spirited, fresh, timeless story of weddings in Nashville and destinations worldwide.